Going Blonde

This is one of my five-minute-shorts (though it did take a little more than five minutes) and it’s just for fun. Enjoy. (Sorry about the formatting, I can’t get this to start at the top of the page. ) PS Nobody dies.  :-)

It wasn’t that he was vain, no, he just loved the way he looked. His eyes sparkled, and his perfect white teeth sparkled, and his gorgeous black hair, which always looked silky-sleak, framed his perfectly tanned face. He wore a tie most days, not because he needed to, but because he loved how sharp it made him look with his Armani shirts and suits. He knew he was hot. It was just a fact.

And she loved him. She thought he was hot too. He was the smartest man she’d ever met and she knew from day one she’d landed the perfect guy. Over time however he wasn’t so sure she fit in with his fast-paced and upwardly mobile goals. Yes, she was blonde, and yes, she was tall, and yes, she was hot, but she wasn’t very bright. When he’d asked her about her life goals she threw her arms around his neck and gushed, “All I want to do is take care of you. I just want to wash your drawers, and cook your vittles, and cuddle you real tight at night.” 

He’d always thought the love of his life would have some ambition. He figured that ambition would amount to more than just housekeeping. Still, she looked good and kept him warm at night. He’d hang on to her for a while. Just until something better came along.

It happened on a Sunday morning. He woke to her staring over him in alarm. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked. But as he sat bolt upright his head felt incredibly cold. He lifted his hand to brush back his hair but suddenly realized he didn’t have any. Every single strand had fallen out over night.!

The mirror confirmed the horror. He was completely bald. “This isn’t happening! I’m having a nightmare! Pinch me, kick-me, slap me! Wake me up!” But it was no good. The nightmare was real. He was bald. He couldn’t believe how old he looked. He’d aged a hundred years. There was no sparkle in his eyes, and even his teeth looked gray. And then he vaguely remembered something his mother told him. The same thing had happened to his great-grandfather and at the same age he was now. He slumped down on the bed, crawled up under the duvet, and curled into a ball.

She was beside herself. How could she help? What could she do? Then she remembered that just this very week she had replenished her crafting supplies! She ran to the craft table and  raked through the drawers and cabinets. But it was the swimming gear hanging from the laundry basket in the wash-room that got her attention. “Brilliant!” she yelled running over and grabbing the rubber swimming-cap. She placed it on the crafting table, pulled out the superglue, and the big scissors, then brushed her long and voluptuous tresses into a ponytail, secured it with a rubber band and cut the ponytail clean off. Placing the cap on an inflated balloon she cut and glued the hair onto it until finally it was completely covered. 

When she finished she took a minute to marvel at her latest creation then roused him from his catatonic state. “look darling, look! it’s okay, you don’t have to be bald! You can be blonde!

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